I’ll go out on a limb and guess that most of you would not expect to see a scene like this one in Southern Living. At Southern Living, we don’t show crumbs, we don’t show smears, we don’t show dirty knives and forks, and we certainly don’t show a basket of doughnuts that looks like it’s been attacked by a marauding band of ravenous badgers.

Q: Hi: Just read the article in September issue about cypress vine. These are my questions:
I live in Nashville. Can I purchase the plant in this area or do I have to order seeds from the sites you provided?
What type of exposure does the vine need; I have a lot of shade/part shade in my yard.
Any other pearls would be helpful.
Thanks for your advice in advance.

You would think fear of the Lord would keep building contractors from deliberately doing stupid things to make churches ugly.

You would be wrong.

Q: We live in Western North Carolina and are just settling into our new home since last September. I took this picture this afternoon of this gorgeous butterfly on a bush outside our home that I would like to cultivate. It has a gazillion blooms and the butterflies are checking them all out which gives me plenty of time to get some good photographs.

Can you tell me the name of this bush? Can it be cultivated with cuttings? Can I buy seeds or plants from you?

Thanks,
Fritz Owens
Zirconia, NC

There’s a good side to everything in life. Take tornadoes and trailer parks, for example. Why, if it weren’t for the sight of trailers sailing through the clouds every spring, jumbo jets may never have been invented.

I know some of you probably wonder what kind of garden Grumpy has at his house. Maybe it sucks, providing him with little justification for turning his jaundice eye on anyone else’s. Not that he needs justification, mind you.

(photo: Salvia guaranitica 'Black and Blue'.)

Q: I just read in the Aug. issue that I need to cut back my leggy annuals, such as salvia by one-third. Does that mean just one-third of the beautiful blooms or one-third of the whole plant? I don't like the thought of cutting off all the color. They will look scalped! Am I missing something here?
Thanks for your help.
Emily in Macon, GA

Q: I have a common question concerning my hydrangeas blooming pink instead of blue. I purchased them while they were blooming and they were blue.
I know it is all about the soil -- acid for blue blooms -- I have watered them with aluminum sulfate -- and they continue to bloom light pink.

Question 1 --- Am I using the correct product -- if so, how often do I water with this and when do I begin?
Quesion 2 --- When do I prune my hydrangeas so I can be assured of blooms the following year?

Thanks for you time and I look forward to hearing from you.
Lavonda

Q: I would like to transplant an older butterfly bush. When is the best time of year to do this? I like in Southern California in Sunset Zone 18. Thanks much. Jo Formino

Q: Hey Steve,
I was wondering what your professional opinion is on the fake/rubber pinestraw. I am so tired of spending $1,000 every 6 months to replace our pinestraw. It does not last in the Mississippi heat and the roaches love it! I looked up the fake pinestraw on-line and it looks very much like the real stuff. What harm could it do to my plants?
Thanks!
Janie

Q: Hi Grumpy…I have a real serious question for a real serious problem! In the spring, I bought a pretty pricey trumpet honeysuckle vine that is sucking the life outta me! I planted a pre-started vine in full/partial sun and really needed it to wrap around the entrance-way of my house. Life was going swell and the vines were a-wrapping all through spring and summer. Well, I’ve been traveling a good bit and when I got back, all the leaves were yellow and falling off. Now, I know I’ve been watering so it may be a question of too much or too little, but I know that it’s much too early in the game for my new friend to give up on me like this. Is this what it’s all about…buying, planting, and sudden death? I sure hope not. I need the plants I buy to respond the way they say they will on the label!!! I NEED A VINE THAT RAPS!
Mel

Q: Any suggestions on the best way to control spittlebugs? Is it possible that they are being brought into my yard by my lawn service mowers?
Thespian Cracker

NOW do you see why I tell you over and over again not to chop down your crepe myrtles every spring?

Q: I am sooo very frustrated. I bought a house about 2 yrs ago in Orlando that had been neglected and I have slowly been trying to give it much needed TLC. Next to the driveway is a patch about 4 x 30 ft that has some kind of weed. It looks like grass, but has tubers that interconnect with some kind of string. So if you pull just the top, the weed will regrow because the tuber is still there. And, if you pull up one tuber w/the plant, you are still not done because 2 or more tubers can be connected by the strings. The tubers can grow about 6 to 8" below the surface. I don't know if I am making sense trying to describe this, but I really do hope so. I took it to the gardening dept of Home Depot, but they did not know what it was.

Talk about going bankrupt by gardening... I have used at least 3 or 4 different chemicals on the soil from Scotts Weed & Feed (only made it grow thicker), Roundup (only kills the plant top (green parts above ground) but does nothing to the tubers, and other stuff which I can't remember right now. I have purchased all kinds of tools trying to kill this stuff and spent uncountable hours pulling, prodding, shovelling, hoeing, etc etc etc.

I am at the point now where I am tempted to just brick it in and forget about it. But I want grass, and more than that, I want to win. I don't want those weeds to win... So that is why I am writing to you...

Do you have any ideas for me?

Frustrated in Orlando,
Dorothy

Q: Hi, I live in southern Alabama, and just purchased some Arapaho crepe myrtles in seven gallon containers. A couple of the crepes have two trunks coming up from the root ball and each of the trunks branch out about eighteen inches up. These trunks look like they could be separated into two trees. Would you recommend dividing them?
Thank you, Clay

Q: Tiny, black, glossy, round beetles are eating the new petals of my echinaceas and rudbeckias. What are they and how do I get rid of them without killing the butterflies, etc.? Anne Fitts

August 1, 1983. Some very strange things happened that day.

• People complained bitterly as gas rose to a staggering 81 cents a gallon
• America learned how to say “thank you” in Japanese by listening to a Styx song called “Mr. Roboto” that chronicled a young Al Gore’s struggle to become a real live boy
• The Grumpy Gardener officially began his career at Southern Living to the consternation of all who thought his talents better suited to holding the “Slow” sign during highway roadwork