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Posted by Steve Bender, October 28, 2009 in Humor , Products

Have nasty rats and mice invaded your home? Do squirrels scamper through your attic? Have you called the exterminator over and over again only to have the problem return? Well, finally there's an answer -- a product guaranteed to rid your home of rodents forever.

Fresh Cat



That's right. Fresh Cat! The only all-natural rodent repellent made from 100% powdered housecats! One whiff of this and rats will scat and mice will think twice.

How does Fresh Cat work? Simple! Rodents just can't stand the smell of their arch-enemy, the common housecat. So we've created a cat-based product that smells just like the real thing because it is the real thing. Housecats, pure and natural. No additives, no preservatives, no worries.

How is Fresh Cat made? Let's just say we start with USDA Prime Grade A free-range housecats. We get them from shelters, people with too many cats, you know -- friendly folks just like you. The cats go through a 4-stage process that begins, appropriately enough, with a CAT scan. We then remove the brain and spinal cord to prevent any danger of mad cat disease. After several hours in a state-of-the-art feline dehydrator called the Cat-a-comb, the cats go into a special grinder called "Catsup", which reduces them to a fragrant powder that fills plastic mesh bags. Fresh Cat is ready to use!

Just two 4-ounce bags of Fresh Cat repels rodents from an average room for up to 30 days. And while original Fresh Cat is a blend of several breeds, Premium Fresh Cat is available in Siamese, Persian, Burmese, and Russian Blue (new!).

Don't suffer rodent infestations any longer. Order Fresh Cat today! When it comes to chasing away rats and mice, it's the cat's meow!

Comments

LOL, this one is going to have cat lovers up in arms, wait till this spreads into the grass roots, I can guarantee you that there is going to be hell to pay..lol. I personally think it brilliant, but where will cats come from once the wild ones are gone? Black market is formed and its business as usual. Can a Cat be raised on a farm for killing? Who is the person that takes this little kitty and slaughters it? I dont like cats that much, but I sure the heck wouldnt cat nap one and kill it. Good Luck on this one once PETA gets a hold of this.

Posted by:Manny | October 28, 2009 at 07:01 AM

Take your best shot, PETA! Here I am, generously providing a much-needed service, and this is the thanks I get?

Posted by:Grumpy Gardener (aka His Excellency) | October 28, 2009 at 09:26 AM

Would it keep the squirrels out of my newly planted bulbs and pansies? The cats next door (who hang out in my yard) aren't doing it.

Posted by:Jill in Atlanta | October 28, 2009 at 09:45 AM

Sorry, Fresh Cat is meant for indoor use only. It loses its freshness too quickly outdoors.

Posted by:Grumpy Gardener (aka His Excellency) | October 28, 2009 at 02:27 PM

LOL! And, you're a cat person!

Cameron

Posted by:Cameron (Defining Your Home Garden) | October 28, 2009 at 05:35 PM

sounds funny, but I took a look at the ingredients label. balsam fir oil, in other words, pine oil. the trouble is that more people are allergic to pine oil than are allergic to real cats. Try Peppermint oil instead. mice hate it and it won't be as hard on your sinuses.

Posted by:emmit up north | October 28, 2009 at 11:40 PM

OK, Emmit Up North,it's making me really nervous that bpeople are taking this seriously. Especially when Cameron tells me they're using bunnies for biofuel in Sweden.

Posted by:Grumpy Gardener (aka His Excellency) | October 29, 2009 at 06:45 AM

I live in a rural area and I like real live cats around the place... but I'm going to try Emmit's peppermint oil - I love the smell of peppermint so it can't hurt anything.

...and you are too funny :)

Posted by:Ilona | November 12, 2009 at 04:51 AM
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