What would you rather do for Christmas? Cook for your family at home or go on a relaxing Caribbean cruise?

If you would rather cook, the Grump strongly suggests you resume your anti-psychotic medication.

Grumpy has resumed his, which is why he will be spending the holidays among the beautiful islands down south, swimming with the dolphins, wrestling with the jaguars, and dancing in the moonlight. Along the way, he may consume some nutritious, all-natural, plant-based beverages, such as rum, tequila, and beer.

One stop along the way will be lovely Belize, shown above, so we can visit my sister-in-law, Penny, and her husband, Mark. I can't wait for them to pamper us like the sophisticated, morally bankrupt gringos we are.

I don't know how much internet access I'll have while in the steam room, whirlpool, disco, or spa, but I will try my best to contact the outside world here on this blog. So if you have any gardening questions, I'll try to remember what a garden is and answer.

Meanwhile .......uh, Miss? Can you apply a little more pressure to my left shoulder? It's feeling a little tight.

Photo by Chuck Taylor