Grumpians, everyone wants to do their part in helping to save the planet. That includes turning garden waste into compost to keep it out of landfills. But how do you know when the compost is ready to go into the garden? Play this informative video and find out! 

Well, I hope that answered all your questions.

On a related note note, Shelly from Buffalo, Wyoming writes: "Last year I had wonderful beets, carrots, onions, beans, zucs, and corn. My garden has not grown well this year. My husband added several bags of tree leaves to it this spring. I think it has too much acid, I don’t know what kind of leaves he used. How do I correct this?"

Grumpy replies: Greetings Shelly, oh ye of very cold winters and beautiful mountains.
 
The Grump has spent little time in your state, but what time he has, he has thoroughly enjoyed.
 
Good gardening in Wyoming, as it does in every state, starts with good soil. I think your soil is naturally alkaline, so I doubt adding a few bags of leaves to it would turn it acid. It might not cause any reaction at all. Essentially, what you have to do is build good soil and your plants should thrive. Work in as much organic matter -- chopped leaves, peat moss, composted manure, grass clippings, ground bark, and garden compost -- as you can. It's nearly impossible to add too much, so do this every year. Organic matter loosens soil, improves aeration and drainage, and stores and provides nutrients. It can also be quite tasty, as you've just seen.

Here's another fascinating question about enriching soil from Brandy in the Texas Hill Country:

"I have a circular area about 8 foot in diameter that I want to raise by tilling in additional native soil that I already have available and then adding 8 inches of organic compost. I would also like to add cottonseed meal, lava sand, and earthworm castings (at their recommended rates on pkg.) Is this too much organic fertilizer? I intend on seeding this bed with annual and perennial seeds that grow well in my area, then possibly adding one or two small perennials plants to the bed as well. My local nursery suggested using "Plant-tone" as an organic, all-purpose plant food. Is all of this too much??"

Grumpy repIies: think your plan is OK as long as you till in everything well. Plant-tone is a good, slow-release, organic fertilizer, as are cottonseed meal and worm castings. Lava sand, however, is not organic nor is it a fertilizer. It is at most a soil conditioner. Contrary to what some people in Texas claim, it is not a miracle additive, does not store or release any nutrients, and does not add any magical qualities to the soil. Those who claim it does are dealing in pseudoscience, the same kind of stuff you see in informercials on TV. Here's an interesting commentary on it:  http://froebuck.home.texas.net/toppage8.htm. I'm not saying don't use it. Just don't fall for the hype. Organic matter will do much more for your plants than lava sand.

"Help Steve! If anyone can answer this, it is YOU!!" [So true. GG]

 
"On either side of the front steps, I need a small evergreen evergreen shrub. I already have a tea olive on each side and I have been planting annuals (geraniums) in these 2 spots, but now I want something a little more permanent. Directly in front of the steps is a horseshoe area that currently has liriope around the edge and coreopsis in the center. [See below.] I want to redo that area as well, planting a perennial border, I think, with something in the front - flowering? I know you are probably inundated with questions, but is it possible to get some suggestions for both of these areas."

Many thanks!

JoEllen, Columibia, SC

The Grump's reply: Do you mind if I share your pictures and request for ideas with my readers? The last time I did this we got a lot of good suggestions.
 
A couple of things do come to mind though. First, you have a very nice looking house. Resist the temptation to hide it behind a wall of shrubs. (See my story "Don't Hide the House") from our recent June issue.

Second, your porch screams out for one or two colorful containers up by the front door. Avoid red flowers that would clash with the brick.

Third, I would remove the liriope from the horseshoe and go with flowers. You could plant a solid mass of one color for big impact or maybe mix some plants, but keep the variety down to no more than three. I would keep whatever you plant there fairly low, so you don't hide the front steps. Take a look at Serena angelonia, one of my favorite annuals. It blooms all summer, comes in blue-purple, pink, or white (I like the blue-purple), grows about 15-18 inches tall, and doesn't need much watering.Lantana would also work well there.

You know, another thing you might consider for your horseshoe is some sort of big ornament or pot, like an olive jar or a nice fountain, in line with the front door and then plant something low around it.

What do you think, Grumpians? Any brilliant, creative, and tasteful options for JoEllen to pursue? She's itching to go to the nursery! Let her hear from you!

Most of the plants we buy at garden centers come in black plastic pots. After a while, you accumulate so many you could build your own Tower of Babel.

So what do you do when your garden center doesn't want them, the recycler won't take them, and town ordinances don't allow pagan towers? You're stuck. 

Attention, talented and creative Grumpians! Jennifer in Wilmington, North Carolina hates the bushes in front of her house and desperately needs your suggestions. She writes:

Dear Grumpy Gardener,
We have too much green in the beds in front of our house. Boxwoods (not doing well in this location), with Indian hawthorns in front of the boxwoods (previously "rounded" to look like green meatballs), and monkey grass in front of the hawthornes. Can you give us some suggestions for adding color and a solution to the hawthorns shaping or placement? Thanks!

Here is what she's dealing with:

The other side:

For years, we've been hearing about the victims of our nation's skyrocketing cost of health care -- the poor, the elderly, the under-served, the unemployed. But what you haven't heard about is how this situation affects the Grump -- especially on a holiday like MLK Day.

You see, the Grump's wife is an operating room nurse in a very fine hospital in Birmingham. She doesn't get holidays off the way the rest of you do. And the reason is, you just won't get sick or injured on a regularly scheduled basis. No, you do it at all hours of the day on every day of the week. Then you expect her to drop everything she's doing, like serving me tillapia with a crisp white wine, to run to the hospital to make you better. This is downright rude.

So today, instead advising Obama on his comprehensive new peat moss policy, I'm sitting at home doing housework. Yes, housework. And it's all your fault.

Here is an account of how I've lowered myself today.

1. Shopped for groceries and catered to all of Judy's preferences.

2. Unloaded the dishwasher and loaded it again.

3. Picked up dirty clothes and did a load of laundry.

4. Folded laundry and put it away.

5. Straightened up the house.

6. Installed insulation in the garage.

7. Broke the toilet seat. (I don't know how that happened. I wasn't doing anything I don't usually do. I guess one big crack deserves another.)

The bottom line is, had I not been so exhausted by cleaning all day as a result of the public's refusal to better plan its hospital visits, our toilet seat would likely have survived. Now we need another one. Can't wait until Judy gets home. She's good at fixing stuff like that.

Greetings, Thanksgiving survivors! Now that you're wondering what to do with all of that left-over squirrel, I know you'll appreciate some helpful holiday decorating tips that will effectively obliterate any free time you have between now and Christmas!

Debbie asks: "We are getting ready to trim some limbs from a scraggly magnolia.  I would love to preserve the leaves for Christmas decorating, but I don’t know how to do it effectively and efficiently.  I will have ten to fifteen branches of varying lengths to work with.  My goal is to preserve them so I can make a garland for my front door or banister. Any quick, cost friendly ideas?"

Dear Grumpy,

I have a black, yes not green, but black thumb...however, I desperately need to plant something in a flower bed about 2' x 4' in the front of our house.  It receives late afternoon and evening sun.  We have some deer that dare to come in the back yard but have not yet come to the front, so I don't know that they are a threat.

Due to some windows right behind the bed, I don't want anything real tall.  What could I plant this fall and for the winter?  What might I plant that will stay despite the season (such as evergreens)?  What flowers would you recommend I plant in the spring?

Thank you for your suggestions.

Laura

Martinsville, VA

Voting lines stretched literally across the country today as enthusiastic crowds patiently waited their turn to cast their ballots and make history. Early exit polls predict a stunning upset victory for the Grumpy Gardener.

Q: Dear Grumpy,
I have a fenced-in backyard that receives afternoon sun and morning shade. Two Goldens Retrievers occupy the space.  How do I design the yard to be dog-friendly, but have flower beds too? We are also extending our deck.

Thanks,

Cher

Brian advises Ketchup to take the fifth.

A while back, I sheepishly admitted to the world that Ketchup, my cat, hunts hummingbirds. He stealthily crouches at the foot of my ‘Lady in Red’ salvia, waits for an unsuspecting hummer to show up, and pounces.

With the possible exception of hearing that Matt Lauer has taken a permanent vow of silence, nothing brings me greater satisfaction than introducing faithful Grumpians to an underappreciated plant.x

Q: Hi,
I have a sink hole in my yard that will not go away no matter what I fill it with. The hole is approximately 8 inches deep and 8 feet long. I have lived in the house 10 years and the hole has always been here. I'm thinking that there was probably a tree with roots there at some time. Can you help?

Robin Banton

You know how when you're drinking tequila, people dare you to eat the worm? It's a stupid thing to do, but chances are, if you're surrounded by people who have been drinking tequila, "stupid" is no longer considered a criticism.

I’ll go out on a limb and guess that most of you would not expect to see a scene like this one in Southern Living. At Southern Living, we don’t show crumbs, we don’t show smears, we don’t show dirty knives and forks, and we certainly don’t show a basket of doughnuts that looks like it’s been attacked by a marauding band of ravenous badgers.

You would think fear of the Lord would keep building contractors from deliberately doing stupid things to make churches ugly.

You would be wrong.

There’s a good side to everything in life. Take tornadoes and trailer parks, for example. Why, if it weren’t for the sight of trailers sailing through the clouds every spring, jumbo jets may never have been invented.

August 1, 1983. Some very strange things happened that day.

• People complained bitterly as gas rose to a staggering 81 cents a gallon
• America learned how to say “thank you” in Japanese by listening to a Styx song called “Mr. Roboto” that chronicled a young Al Gore’s struggle to become a real live boy
• The Grumpy Gardener officially began his career at Southern Living to the consternation of all who thought his talents better suited to holding the “Slow” sign during highway roadwork

Keith Walendowski is a hero. And because of that, he now faces 6 years in prison and an $11,000 fine.

Dear Steve,
I have always enjoyed you articles so much. Your sense of humor tells me that you would fit right in to our family, (wait--did that sound like an insult? Sorry.) You may already know this, but I didn't, and I thought it might make a good Tip of the Month.

When pulling especially stubborn, well-rooted, or thorny weeds, a pair of pointy needle-nosed pliers are just the thing. Punch the points into the soil, squeeze tightly and pull, or even twist the weed out. The pliers are inexpensive, fit easily into your pocket, and really save your hands!

Thanks for all the fun reading.
Carol Gray

Q: Help! I have moved into a new home with a swimming pool and NO shade. I live in hot, dry, windy west Texas (Midland). I have 2 pots about 3 feet tall and the opening at the top about 2 foot. I put elephant ears but have since learned they get too much sun. They get just about all day sun. These pots sit on the pool deck. I thought about a Crepe Myrtle but don't want to fight the flowers dropping in the pool. I can't do any sage because I am allergic to them. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you, Trina Abney

Q: Hi, Sometime in the early to mid 90's Southern Living featured a garden where the home owner built a large metal form that he placed pots of flowers on. It looked like a tree of flowers. The plans were included in the article. In my several moves in the last few years I have lost the plans, and I was wondering if you could help me locate a copy of them? Thanks for any help you can provide. Patricia McGuire

Mike Dubinovsky, co-owner of Top Tropicals nursery near Punta Gorda, Florida ships his plants all over the country and elsewhere. Quite a few of his customers kill these nice plants by doing stupid things. (Personal note: Once when I worked in a Maryland nursery, a customer brought back a dead tree and demanded a refund. When I asked to see the tree, I saw the trunk was charred. She had burned it. I told her the use of napalm voided the guarantee. I guess I should have spelled that out more forcefully when she bought it.)

Anyway, Mike says one of the most common ways his customers kill his plants is by transplanting them into pots that are too big. They receive a plant with a 6-inch root ball in the mail and immediately plant it into a 14-inch pot. Before they can sneeze, it croaks. Why? Number one, it doesn't need all of that extra room right away. Like a jet-lagged traveler, it needs to recover a while from its journey. Second, after you water it, the new plant lacks the root system necessary to cope with a huge, new pot filled with wet soil. The soil stays wet too long, the roots rot, and the plant goes to that big compost heap in the sky. Mike says wait until the new plant is actively growing -- as signaled by by lush new shoots and leaves -- before giving the roots the extra space.

SO DON'T WATERBOARD NEW PLANTS!  It may not be torture, but as President Bush might say, it will avoid your guarantee.